It's been interesting to say the least how these past few weeks have been. Besides having a normal weekend hanging out with close friends and my harddisk giving out on me it I'd rate it a 9 out of 10. And that 10 would be on a scale of how mentally convoluted it could possibly be.

I've not been put on the spot so often in my life and with that I mean being caught off guard having to answer some ridiculous question which never was meant to be answered by me or anyone else in the first place. How fucking considerate is that? I donno but I take it we all need some sort of a backup, a "just in case" because "I'm doing it for you..." but never considered the fact that "I never asked for it. Period." ... err well not really anyway.

Now if you knew the story (which I'm betting you don't) you'd prolly agree with me but I am to be held somewhat accountable for it getting to that point. I say somewhat because it was only a few times I met that said person and spoke of a few things, which in hindsight I prolly shouldn't have.

Now things have gone awry and me and my big mouth are to blame. For fucks sake I should learn to say no in the first place before it gets too far but its a little to late for that and it was too close for comfort. I know that I'm the sort who can take lots of shit and still walk away with a grin but when it crosses that line, all bets are off. So whats it supposed to mean again when someone says to you "I need to make a big decision regarding my relationship but I want you to tell me if you're in it with me or not?"

I thought we had sorted that out already. hmm maybe not quite. we'll see what the next few days bring. If it will get worse of better from here. All I can say at this point is it shouldn't have happened like this in the first place.