Whaddoyou call that again?

By UnkleBus
You know… when someone is lying to you but they think you have no clue? And they carry on that little lie until it becomes quite unrealistic. To me it just boils down to how honest you can be with yourself… Bahhh…


I went to buy some toothpaste just now and as I walked back to the car I saw someone at Starbucks who looked exactly like a crush I had a few years back. She looked back at me as though she recognized me but we were both wearing caps so the view of our eyes wasn’t clear. It could have been her but I just walked past.

It reminded me of the one silly thing I did the last time trying to get her. Those days no “skill” yet lah, and as I think about it I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at how naïve I was… it’s unbelievable. I don’t know what made me do such a remarkably stupid thing to get her. The worse part is that it didn’t even work.

I wrote a note.

…a sort of “confessional” note. Knowing that my handwriting was the shit I typed it out carefully in word, bullet marked it point by point as if rehearsing for some debate. I then took that note, it was printed on A4 paper and so I had to fold it up. I think it listed the things I liked about her and what to say.

Oh and I forgot, she even had a boyfriend at that time. I was so nervous when I went to her place, carefully sitting her down I took out the note and read it to her. Now that I think about it, I think she also didn’t know to laugh or cry.

Right now I cringe at the thought. Fucking embarrassing la stupid!

At the end of the ordeal (both for her and me), she was nice enough to gently let me down to the cold dark concrete, walked me out the door and sent me off. I think it was then she started laughing her ass off. The interesting part is that I remember I felt relieved after that, somewhat, that it did not work. I don’t understand why until now but never mind that. Now that I’m writing this I exorcise all the demons that plague my subconscious and will be able to “spanar” at 101% efficiency… *grin*

So now…

Boys and girls, don’t do that, be smart buy some flowers, or better yet pick them yourself. Do something romantic. It’s not all about how much the flowers cost, it’s the length and measure you go to make sure it’s the right kind. And if you’re gonna make a list, make sure you fucking memorize it and save yourself the embarrassment!

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