BUS Journal of Natural Disorders

By UnkleBus

“Post Sleep Syndrome” (herewith referred to as “PSS”), is a highly contagious disorder that severely impairs the ability to “work” early in the morning. PSS is not know to occur naturally, this syndrome increases in severity with every late night, or hours spent not sleeping when the patient should be. Symptoms include, dry eyes, the inability to control lower jaw movement and breathing resulting in a sudden intake of air with one’s mouth opened to its fullest; one-ton eyelids (also diagnosed as a symptom in PLAD or Post Lunch Awareness Disorder); muscle strength degradation especially in the neck region (also diagnosed in PLAD) and the inability to focus (somewhat similar to cau-tut eyes). PSS is highly contagious during the "sudden air intake with mouth agape" otherwise known to locals as Yawning.

Doctors have yet to find a cure though through observations, symptoms seem to mysteriously disappear around 15 to 30 minutes (depending on severity) before 12 PM (lunch time) or when a colleague (only managerial level and above) walks within a 10 meters radius. In certain scenarios the likelihood of catching PLAD after PSS is 287%-355%

Although experts have yet to ascertain the true meaning of “work” this condition has caused alarm bells in the white collar worker community. Reported cases are statistically high on Monday, Thursday and Friday where most cases seem to be related to a relapse of BFCoW (Burnout From Clubbing on Weekdays).

Doctors agree that the future is looking bleak for PSS, PLAD and BFCoW sufferers though there have been unverified reports that a new medical procedure SDTMc may help cure but not prevent the symptoms. SDTMc (See Dr Take Mc) is a known practice widely practice in the east but has never been documented. More reports on this as further studies are carried out to find out the true nature of these diseases.

*Next week: An article about “Make yourself look like you’re busy writing a document – Part II ( Prof. Unkle BUS)”